Quotes - Brian Kinney


Staffel 2

Brian: "'Hey hey ho ho homophobia's got to go.' Gimme a f*cking break."
Michael: "So I take it you're not going?"
Brian: "Hell no, I won't go."


Brian zu Justin: "You walked down with me, back to the Jeep, and we were goofing, we were dancing. I kissed you, said 'later'. And then you turned around and smiled. Then I knew why Debbie calls you Sunshine."

Trick: "Did you ever see Citizen Kane?"
Brian: "Yeah."
Trick: "All my life, all I've ever heard is how it's the greatest f*ckin' movie ever made. So I finally rent it; the guy who plays the lead is fat, the story sucks and it's in black and white!"
Brian: "Maybe you were expecting too much."
Trick: "Like with you. All I've ever heard is how Brian Kinney's the greatest f*ck ever. If you ask me, you're both highly over-rated."
Brian: "Everybody's a critic. Next time, maybe you should rent Butt Hole Boys, I gave it 2 thumbs up."

Jennifer: "I want you to take him (Justin)."
Brian: "Excuse me?"
Jennifer: "I want you to take my son."
Brian: "Mrs. Taylor...."
Jennifer: "Jennifer."
Brian: "Whatever. What the f*ck are you talking about?"
Jennifer: "He won't let anyone touch him, won't let anyone near him, shows practically no emotional except when he's in one of his rages or he wakes up screaming from a nightmare. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is standing there -- helpless. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"
Brian: "What would you like me to do?
Jennifer: “Touch him. Help him be touched."
Brian: "You want me to f*ck him?"
Jennifer: "You're the one he trusts, if that's what it takes."


Brian zu Mikey: "Whoa dude! The kids at school will, like, puke, they'll be, like, so jealous!"

Brian über Bellweather: "I'm suing the motherf*cker. He said I was thirty-one...I'm thirty."


Brian zu Ted: "Word of advice, next time you have nuts in your mouth, suck, don't chew.


Brian: "Dreaming’s for people who like to sleep. I’d rather be awake and f*cking."


Brian zu Justin: "So if I'm out late, just assume I'm doing exactly what I wanna be doing, I'm f*cking. And when I come home, I'll also be doing exactly what I wanna d : coming home to you."

Michael: "Emmett’s a star, now."
Brian: "His dick's a star… He’s just the life-support system."

Debbie: "Hasn’t the kid been through enough without you causing him more pain?"
Brian: "Stay out of it!"
Debbie: "The f*ck I will, I care about him, all you care about is..."
Brian: "Getting my dick sucked, I think that’s been firmly established. Now, can we move on from there?"
Debbie: "Look, all I want is to..."
Brian: "Interfere?2
Debbie: "You can call it whatever the f*ck you want, I don’t want Justin hurt."
Brian: "Well, that’s life isn’t it? Surprise!"
Debbie: "You think you’ve got everybody fooled, don’t you? Well not me hunny, I’ve known you too long, and regrettably too well. And no matter how hard you try to deny it, I can tell you care as much about him, as he cares about you. Only you haven’t got the big hairy gahoona’s to say it."
Brian: "Oh, well maybe I can borrow yours?"
Debbie: "Well hey, whatever it takes. To admit that you love him. And I know that you do. Despite all your efforts to never let another heart touch yours. That’s assuming, of course you have one. That little persistent kid has somehow gotten in under the wire. And that’s what’s happened huh? Admit the truth. You love him, don’t you? I thought so. Then tell him. Tell him what you could never say to Michael."


Lindsay: "I was hoping you were the harp!"
Brian: "I’m into f*cking, not plucking."

Brian: "Anything else?"
Lindsay: "Shave!"
Bria: "My balls are as clean as a whistle!"


Brian: "Like I give a shit what God thinks about me. He’d better be worried what I think about him. In all this cold, dead universe, we’re the only ones that know he exists. Without us, he's nothing."

Brian: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hell."


Brian zu Lindz und Mel: "As usual, objectivity falls to me... Think: you don't really want me there for you, do you? I have to be chemically dependent just to show up. I'll be drunk, I'll be bored, not to mention better looking than the brides. I'll offend all the dykes. I'll heckle the ceremony. Table dance at the reception, and inevitably f*ck every good looking guy - gay, straight or undecided - in the place. Finally, I'll pass out naked, bitching about the cheap booze. You'll loose your dignity, you friends and your shirts paying for the damages. Hell! I'm doing you a favor getting out of the town."

Brian: "Dykes don’t have everything, that’s why they’re so miserable."

Brian zu Mel: "I’m reminded of a scene from “Alien“, one of the great AIDS metaphor flicks of all time. Our intrepid intergalactic garbage collectors led by uber-bitch dyke Ripley, after who you’ve obviously modeled yourself, snuggled safely in their sleep pods for the long ride home when suddenly, the monster appears."

Brian zu Justin: "So, you’re standing me up to see two dykes tie the knot? [...] I think you’re a selfish, heartless asshole... Keep up the good work."

Brian: "He doesn't want an ass in good taste, he wants an ass that tastes good."


Ted: "What kind of homosexual are you?"
Brian: " The kind that f*cks men."

Lindsay: "Don’t be nervous."
Brian: "If my heart rate was any lower, I’d be dead."


Brian zu Ted: "You know, it must be true what they said about deafening music damaging your eardrums. I could swear I heard you say “If you were me ?"

Ted: "Michael's got Ben. You've got Justin. Even Emmett has George, for Christ's sake. How come everybody's got someone except me?"
Brian : "The reason you don’t have a boyfriend is because you don’t want one.
Ted: "I don't?"
Brian: "If you had one, it would challenge the well-established opinion you have on yourself as a worthless sack of shit that nobody wants. Therefore, you go after guys you know will reject you. Then, you stand around here and bitch like a high school girl when, in fact, you’ve gotten exactly what you want, mainly... nothing."

Ted: "You have anything on you?"
Brian: "Yeah, 16 pounds of cocaine and 24 ounces of heroin."
Ted: "This is no time to be funny!"
Brian: "Who's being funny?"


Brian zu Justin und Michael: "What I did was immature, childish, vindictive. It was an act of cruelty based on irrational fears and unfounded jealousy. If I were the two of you, I’d never speak to me again."

Brian zu Justin und Michael: "Finally you two boys will have something in common besides me. And what a relief not to be the center of everyone’s universe!"

Michael: "Creativity doesn’t punch a time-clock."
Brian: "Oh my god that is so profound. Can you hold on a minute while I write it down?"

Brian zu Mikey: "You want too much. You expect too much. And then, when your hero disappoints you, your poor little heart gets crushed."

Ben: "I don't want to celebrate my goddamned birthday."
Brian: "Finally, a man with the right attitude."


Gardener: "Rumor has it that you're gay?"
Brian: "The rumor's right. But unless I'm f*cking you, it's none of your business."


Brian zu Mikey: "The night Justin was bashed and I called you, and you were about to get on a plane, and you came here and you sat with me for three days, waiting to see if he was going to live or die. If it hadn't been for you, I never would have made it. It was because of you. You're strong enough for both of us. And you're going to be strong for Ben."


Brian: " Hey, what size does this come in?"
Emmett: "Twink, stud and bear."
Brian: "I'll take a stud."

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